She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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