i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
