Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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