Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
