he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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