Me. At least after what I've been through.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
