dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
