Fuck appropriateness.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
