I am in a vortex of obligation.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
