I didn't shave. On purpose
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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