Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
