you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
