ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
