I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
