I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
