she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
