Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
