lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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