I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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