I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
