You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
