did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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