How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
