i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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