My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My vagina is officially offended.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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