I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
