She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
