I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
