the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
