Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
