Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Randomize
