i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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