help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
