even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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