nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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