well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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