my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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