well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
