Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just cropdusted the office
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Randomize
