she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Less talking, more tequila
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
