i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
what day is it and did you see me today?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
