Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
