it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
