Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
