it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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