Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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