no, he came in my armpit
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
