He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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