Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
