I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
handjob tips. give me some.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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