I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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